The airline advice you should always take.

Are you the sort of person that spends a lot of time doing things for other people, but seldom do anything for yourself? Do you find yourself putting your own needs last? Do you feel guilty or selfish when you even think about focusing on yourself?

If this sounds familiar then please know that this message is especially for you, from my heart.

You might think you know what I’m going to say and you might feel tempted to skip it. Please don’t. Please pause for 30 seconds and really read this message.

The airlines have got it right. You must put your own oxygen mask on first, before helping others.

I vividly remember hearing this instruction many years ago at the start of a long-haul flight with two children in my care. I was outraged! I told myself that if oxygen masks did fall down, I’d certainly be ignoring this silly advice and helping the children first. Who would be so crazy and uncaring to do otherwise?

Of course, upon talking it through with others I began to see the logic in it. I wouldn’t be able to help the children if I suddenly found myself unable to breathe. Helping them first might work in the short term, but could be a problem in the long term. So although it initially sounded counter-intuitive, I realised it makes much more sense to put on your own mask first.

This advice is equally true in a metaphoric sense. I know that your desire to put other people first comes from a place of beautiful intention and great care and love. I know that the people around you benefit greatly from everything you do for them. I know you even enjoy doing it.

But readers, it’s time for this to change. It’s time for you to start becoming familiar with what you need, and for you to bring some love and attention to yourself.

You’ll be able to help and support others around you much more effectively when you’ve put your own oxygen mask on. Giving some time and attention to your own needs is the very opposite of selfish. It allows you to fill yourself up, to refresh and replenish, and to bring more love and energy to what you do.

Putting on your own oxygen mask might look like saying no to someone. It might look like asking a friend to babysit just so you can have a few hours on your own. It might look like creating a non-negotiable 10 minutes in your day for something that fills you up - reading a book, listening to music, an uninterrupted cup of tea. You know what energises you and brings you pleasure, and that’s your version of putting your oxygen mask on.

If you run out of oxygen, you won’t be able to help those around you. Your own wellbeing and fulfilment has to come first, in order for you to truly be able to give to others in a sustainable way.

So what can you do today to put your own oxygen mask on? Maybe you need to do something small, to try it out. Or maybe you realise it’s time to be more audacious and do something bigger to put yourself first. Whatever you decide to do, please do it. And know that I’m cheering you on from the sidelines.

Much love,

Ruth

PS If this resonates with you and you have some friends who also find this challenging, please pass this message on. And remember that I’m here to support you so please message me if you’d like to talk about this further.