Is money good or bad?*
Over the last three years I’ve been part of an international community of women entrepreneurs, all learning how to start and scale their businesses. I’ve learned so much with them and from them, and one of the biggest challenges and opportunities for many of us has been about money.
You see, most of us discovered that we had a range of beliefs and unwritten ‘rules’ about money that were preventing us from being financially successful. From the outset I found it a fascinating topic because frankly nobody had ever talked to me about money before.
Sure, I had been told about the importance of saving and how to avoid or manage debt, but never before had I been asked to consider what money represented to me or what judgement I had about money.
One of the things I discovered was that I had spent years saying I didn’t care about money, but that wasn’t actually true. Money wasn’t my primary driver, and I wanted to be successful and to be in service to others, but saying it wasn’t important to me was actually preventing me from being really honest with myself.
I realised, for example:
I love to travel, therefore I need money to go places.
I desire a stable and comfortable place to live, so I need money to pay rent or a mortgage.
I want to ensure my financial security, so I need money for savings and retirement.
As I dived more into the subject, I discovered that I had created a judgement about money, a belief that in some way money was dirty and that desiring more money was a bit icky. And I’ve talked to many people who feel the same, because this isn’t something that we typically talk about. In my world, money was kept a bit hush-hush and it was considered crass to talk about this.
Why do I bring this up with you today?
Because one of the biggest insights I gained from exploring the mindset of money is that it is massively related to self-worth, self-esteem and self-love.
Many women in my community found it incredibly difficult to invest any money in themselves. Some found it challenging to allow themselves to receive. Others had created a story that money was bad and that you can’t be a worthy person and at the same time be wealthy.
Here are some of the common issues and beliefs that I heard regularly:
- I don’t deserve more money.
- I’m not worth spending time/effort/money on.
- I don’t deserve to invest in myself.
- I shouldn’t buy things for myself or invest in myself in any way (because it’s wrong).
- Other people have much less than me so I feel guilty about spending money on myself.
- Money and wealth are for other people, not me.
- There are other more important things to spend money on than myself.
If any of these strike a chord with you, I highly recommend you start making a plan to explore this and turn it around for yourself. Why? Because I know that this is an area that can be hugely transformative. Unlocking the unconscious beliefs and rules you have about money can undoubtedly help you earn more money. And it can also help you understand and believe in your own worth as an amazing human.
Investing in yourself is the most powerful thing you can do for your happiness, wellbeing and success. That means investing time, investing effort, investing care in yourself, and sometimes it means investing money in yourself.
I’m not just talking about material purchases. I’m also talking about putting time and effort and energy into making the change you desire in your life.
Maybe it’s investing in a gym membership so you have more energy. Maybe it’s investing in a session with a nutritionist to help you to understand food choices. Perhaps it’s paying someone to do the housework so you can spend more time with your kids. It might even be buying a book or attending a workshop to help you get clear on your purpose.
You’ll know what it is for you. The thing that you’d really like to do but have been talking yourself out of because you ‘can’t afford it’. And I’m not here to say it isn’t true if you say you can’t afford it. Only you know your financial situation.
What I’m here to say is, you can empower yourself to understand your beliefs about money and you can turn them around. You can learn what is really true for you when it comes to money.
As a first step, start considering what are some of the ‘rules’ you have about money and notice what you tell yourself about money.
As a second step, please reply to this email to let me know if any of this resonated with you. It’s come up with a few of my clients recently so if I’d love to know if you’d be interested in more training and tips on this important topic.
Go well,
Ruth
*PS - the answer to the question is that money is neither good nor bad. It’s merely energy, and it’s what you do with it that matters.